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Covid Hostage
“Jesse, Jesse, come here dear.” Mr. H is back and hasn’t visited in a month. Of course, he made his reservation half an hour beforehand, and expects his favorite table. Before his arrival, the hostess comes to inform me that there is no way Mr. H can possibly have his favorite table. It’s been reserved… Read more
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Sephora Called Me Old
Last week I went to the mall to just kinda like wander around and kill an hour or so of my life. So I wandered in to Sephora because this summer when I was blonde I read an article on the internet that said blondes should try wearing brown mascara, and if an article on… Read more
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My Mom Thinks I’m a Difficult Person
The other day my mom told me that I remind her of “the red head on Difficult People.” … … And I was like…”sooo…the MAIN difficult person?” … … And she was like, “not because I think you’re difficult, though!” And I was all, “ew, eye roll emojiiiiiii” And so you know what I told… Read more
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Suburban Fall with an Unemployed Whiny Person
Just a small town girl livin’ in a lonely Syracuse, New Yooooork… she took her mom’s CRV goin’ to Marshaaaall’s Homegoooooooods Oh, don’t mind me. My boyfriend just went back to work today to yell at kids to put on masks and not touch each other…and also to teach physics, I guess. And I’m still… Read more
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Forced
I told myself I would force myself to write something today. The problem is I have nothing to ‘say’ but I have, like, 3 billion things to SAY. Like, for SAYING’s sake, I thought I had a blackhead on my upper lip because I felt something stinging it, and in retrospect it was probably just… Read more
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Understanding the Crock-pot
I’m here today to get something off my chest…something that’s been eating away at me through weeks of tedium, months of quarantine, and years on a presidential rollercoaster of which I cannot seem to get off. Crock-pots. I don’t get it. I don’t understand them. People love these things. People give them as gifts— wait,… Read more
Jesse Tenorio 